Regrets
by Sammy The Trashbag
Summary: After a fight with Judy, Nick falls into a depression. Will he be saved? Or will he give in to his dark thoughts? Multi-shots.
1. Sound of Silence

Hello there, NikaBlackwater here and that's my first fanfiction. I got the inspiration while listening to Disturbeds song 'sound of silence' and Foo Fighters 'stranger things have happened before'. It's kind of dark and short but there will be more :) I still hope you'll like it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Zootopia or any of its characters.

* * *

Dust covered the furniture in the bedroom, dimly lit by the setting sun. A lone figure sat on the bed, face obscured by shadows. The soft glow of a cigarette could be seen, occasionslly lightening up the face of the fox, sitting quietly there. A coarse sigh escaped his throat.

 _"Its been two weeks since she left.."_ he thought to himself, ambsently taking a drag from the cigarette.

Soon as she left, he picked up the one habit she hated the most again. If she would be here, cancer from those things, would be the last thing to worry about.

He looked over to the door, wishing she would come through the door but he knew it wouldn't happen. He messed up. If he just could have behaved, then she wouldn't be gone now, no, she would be by his side, talking about her interest, dreams or family, hours and hours on end. Now the lonelieness and silence were suffocating him, drowning him in that dark swamp. The silence in his apartment grew deafening as the seconds ticked by, driving his already mind deeper into an growing depression.

"Why couldn't I shut that big mouth of mine?" He hissed into the room, while getting up from his bed. Moving to the window he pulled up the half closed blinds, staring loningly out on the street. Maybe she'll comes back? No, don't be an idiot, he told himself. There was no way she would ever come back to him. Not after that incident. He squeezed out his cigarette in his overfilled ashtray, sitting on the windowsill.

He let himself fall on his bed again, going over what happened two weeks ago for the hundredth time. Hadn't he he made that one rude remark about their jobs at the ZPD, they wouldn't have got into that fight, that tore apart their long friendship. Nothing pained him more than seeing her being hurt by his actions and he hated himself for it.

Tears rolled over his cheeks. He just couldn't change his attitude. Couldnt change his stupid, sarcastic demeanor, no matter how much he tried, and it had driven his most prescious person away. His only friend...

"How some stupid words can ruin your life, eh Nicky?" he said out loud bitterly.

The more he thought about her, the crazier he got. Pacing restlessy in his now dark room, Ran his paws through his fur roughy, ripping out some strands of fur in the process. He even chewed his nails. The distraught fox leaned on the wall, slowly sliding down, sobbing. "Fuck that, 'never let them see that they got to you'... fuck it all…"

After what fellt like ages, the fox got up, picked up his jacket and left his apartment complex. Breathing in the crisp night air he walked slowly around the city, aimlessly he went through the streets. Passing bar after bar, brothel after brothel and park after park. The most animals he met were either to drunk after partying or made a huge arc around the red eyed and roughed up fox. He walke for hours, until he stopped at the cliff where they found the animals-turned-savage.

He looked back to the huge facility, smiling weakly at the memories of those days. Sighing heavily he turned to the cliff.

"I love you… Judy.." Nick whispered as he slowly let himself fall off the cliff.


	2. Headlights

Hello, dear readers, sorry for the loooong wait, had to deal with lots of personal stuff, sickness and lastly: writers block. On another note, i'm amazed at how many views this fic got and would like to thank all of you :3 i also hope you enjoy this chapter, it was hard to write this one as my native tongue isn't english ^^'' enjoy!

 **DISCLAIMER:** if i'd own Zootopia i'd be rich, which... i'm not ._.

-Nika

* * *

She shifted her gaze to the setting sun as she took a break from yanking carrots out of the ground. She had been out in her hometown for about six days now and she tore through her parents fields of crops just to keep her mind off from that stupid fox.

Calling it a day she loaded her baskets full of carrots into her fathers spare truck. Hopping in and closing the door, she lit the engine and the rusty beast roared to life.

The farm of her parents was not far away and soon she rolled into the driveway. Sighing she left the bulky pickup and began unloading the carrots into the barn. 'Finally done', she thought in relief. Her fingers ached, her fur was dusty and full of dirt as were her clothes. Judy hurried into the house, knowing full well that if she was slow, she had to wait ages to get to take a shower.

'As much as I love my siblings, that part is a pain in the butt', chuckling she took fast strides, took a set of fresh clothes out of her closet and retreated into the, luckily, empty bathroom. Being fast in the shower usually, she decided to take a bit longer. Quickly undressing and stepping into the shower, she groaned blissfully as the water hit her fur.

While doing her routine, her mind drifted to the reason she is out here at her parents place. Nick. She left around two weeks ago after he insulted everything she achieved and worked for. Pullled all that through the dirt, reduced her to being just a bunny, a stupid little bunny.

She felt her rage boiling up inside her, felt the rush of her blood coursing rapidly in her system. turning the water off, she then slammed the shower door open, grabed her towel and stepped out of the cabin, into the cool air of the bathroom. Her rage built up the more she thought about her situation but before she could tear apart the bathrooms interior, she quickly dressed and dashed out of the house again, succesfully avoiding her large family.

Finally outside, she began her trek up to the hills she and Nick shared their first kiss. Memories passed her mind, happy ones, like the kiss. Or sad ones, like the time, nick told her about his father and how he left him and his mother. At that time he had abandoned his, 'don't let them see they got to you', creed and broke down, bawling his eyes out until he fell asleep in her arms.

The memories kept flooding her mind, numbing her. She felt dizzy, tears fell freely as she stood there, thinking about all the good time they had and how bad it ended. She had shouted at him, insult after insult and then, she just left him there, with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

Hours passed and the darkness crept around her as she just stood there sobbing. Maybe nick was right, calling her a helpless bunny, she was. A vulnerable and weak little creature that needed to be protected from herself.

"No, I am not weak, I did what most bunnies never would, I became so much more…" she said quietly to herself. "And I did that by myself."

Finally her tears stopped and after a couple of minutes, she turned around and walked back home, tripping over a root or rock occasionally. After what seemed like ages she arrived home, no lights could be seen from the inside of the house. Stealhily, she crept into the house, trying not to wake any of her siblings or her parents. While passing the many rooms, to her own, she could hear a faint humming sound. It hummed in an regular pace. Hum, pause, hum.

It got louder, as she came closer to her room. It disappeared as she opened her door. She closed the door softly and flicked the lights on. She let out a sight as she felt the exhaustion sweep over her. Not even bothering to take off her clothes, she let herself fall on the bed. This past two weeks took a lot of energy from her.

Her phone went off suddenly. She took it from the nightstand, 'if its nick again, i'll throw that phone out of the window', but it wasn't nick, the number wasn't from any of her contacts. Deciding to wait until tomorrow to figure out who it was, she just cancelled the call and was about to put it away, as it went off again.

"Oh for god's sake" she groaned and cancelled it again but the phone just sprang to life again, humming eerily in her hand. Glaring at it she accepted the phone call, sat up and jumped off her bed.

"Hello this is Judy Hopps." She said Mustering up all her politeness to not snap at the animal on the other end.

"Good evening, Miss Hopps, this is Doctor Martin Rivers of St. Leon Hospital, Zootopian Rainforest district. Sorry for the late call but it's really urgent" the deep voice of a male came through the speakers. "Its alright doc, go on"

Judy heard mister Rivers take a deep breath before he spoke again, "well, miss hopps, a mister Nicholas Wilde was found in a river this morning, heavily injured. He is currently in Intensive care but we don't have much hope for him. We found a card in his wallet with instructions to call you if anything happens to him"

She heard him talk but stoped registering as she heard what happened. Ignoring the doctor asking if she's still there, her mind went a mile per second, why? What happened to him in the time she was away? Was she responsible?

"W-what h-appened?" Her voice broke as she fought back her tears. Sighing, the doctor answered calmly, "we don't know but judging from the injuries, he fell down from a pretty high place, he was either pushed or he attemted, uhm… suicide"

Judy felt her heart stop. Suicide? Nick? Her ever so smug and sly fox? she let Her phone slide out of her hand, shattering its display. Why? Why, would he do such a thing. Her breathing became erratic, the blood came rushing back, she needed to go back. Quickly grabbing her stuff and packing it into her suitcase, she wrote a note to her parents that she had to leave. Running silently through the house, she pushed open the front dor and rushed to her car.

Throwing her stuff into the back of her car, she hopped in, started the engine and sped off. 'Come on i need to get faster' she thought frantically, stomping down on the gas pedal. She arrived in zootopia an hour later. Feeling relived to finally be near the hospital. She had so much to say to the fox, her fox, how she was sorry, how much he meant to her and that she will never leave him alone again.

Oblivious to her surroundings, she never noticed the incoming car that crashed into hers.


	3. Riot

Hello my dear readers, I'm back with another Chapter tha I hope You'll all like. On another note there have been some questions regarding my update schedule. Well, to be honest, I've got none, I have so much to do, there's not many time to write but be assured I will not abbandon this story. So just be patient and dont be mad at me, I do what i can :) ah and sorry for the short chapter D:

Happy reading!

* * *

His mind phased in and out from consiousness and back to unconsciousness. While he was awake he could feel the numbed pain all over his body. He saw masked animals through his blurred and hazy vision, they cut and sliced into him, pulled him together with needles and thread but he did not feel the pain. It was horrifying, he didn't knew what happened, why was he here? Why are they doing this to him? But those thoughts were drowned out by his mind shutting down.

The dreams of his were like static, like an

old dissconnected tv. It never changed, he felt imprisoned in that endless sea of black and white dots and the deafening noise of static. Driving his already agitated and tired mind further into waves and waves of insanity.

He wandered in this black and white nightmare, alone and searching the thrice damned exit. Minutes felt like hours, exhausting him, making his feet ache. The sound of a cracking glass beneath his paws, caught his attention his emerald colored eyes looked down to see a carrot shaped glass pendant. It's bright orange colour, disturbing the irregular flicking of whit and black dots. The same pendant he wanted to give her but before he could hell broke loose between them.

Bending down he picked it up. Rough paw pads met the smooth surface of glass. Why was it here? He didn't know but a surpressed thought lingered at the back of his mind. The answer to it all, unreachable, frustratingly far away, sliping through his paws like fine sand. As he pocketed it, the maddening rushing noise of static vanished. The vast desert of moving dots turned solid black, complete darkness.

A soft tingling sensation spread over his body. It grew and the tingling turned into pain, coming from different spots all over him. Doubling over and howling in pain, he felt his skin beneath his fur tearing. Heard how his bones broke, flesh being crushed and blood seeping out his wounds. The pain was intense and so overwhelming, that he didn't notice his consciousness slipping away.

* * *

Emerald colored eyes snapped open, his breathing became erratic. He looked arround frantically, not caring about the doctors holding him down to the op table, he needed to get out of here, he needed to see her. Struggling against the firm and experienced hands of the two doctors, he freed himself from their grasp. Ignoring the pain from his neatly made stitches and casts, he grabbed an OP-tablet, smashing it against the temple of the doctor closest to him, knocking the poor guy out.

The frantic fox spun on his heel, using his momentuum to throw the tablet squarely into the other doctors face, who prepared a tranc-gun to shoot the fox. Breathing heavily, Nick stumbled over to the door. He didn't had much time before otherth would come and put him back on one of those nasty Tables, his primary goal being to get to Judy as fast as possible. Hand resting on the doorknob, he winced as he pulled the door open.

A stretcher and some doctors passed by the now open door but he stopped dead in his tracks. Not because he feared the doctors, no, he froze at what or who he saw lay on top of it. His heart sunk.

'No'


	4. Silent Scream

Hello Dear readers, please forgive my absence. I suffered from writers block and tried to push myself through but that didn't work and my personal demons kept plaguing me, so on with the story, happy reading

-N

* * *

Neon lights passed by, flickering occasionally, blindig the weak purple eyes gazing at them. Their owner couldn't move, with out being rewarded by sharp jolts of pain. She felt crushed, maimed and torn at the same time, awaiting the moment she would disolve into a puddle of fleshy agony but it never came.

Her eyelids were heavy but she pressed on, she had to stay awake, she had to get to him at all costs, even if it costs her life. Thoughts grew more distant in her head, dissolving into a hazy mess. At least the pain subsided as the painkillers kicked in again

As she passed the seemingly endless hallway, her ears picked up a noise. A noise wich sounded like a metallic object hitting flesh. Her gurney turned, passed doors upon doors as she kept fighting the ongrowing drowsieness. She tried to talk but no words came out just a whispered, jumbled mass of noises. Judy squirmed in her fixated state as much as she could. A doctor began fiddling wiht her infusion bag, increasing her dose of painkillers. A cold sensation spread out from the fluids point of entrance and quickly spread over her entire body and then the cold feeling turned to heat, slowly until she felt like on fire and then, the world blacked out.

* * *

His stupor was disrupted by something fast an pointy embedding itself next to his head. Tracing it back to where it came from, his heart sunk even more. Two huge bears, approached him, fast and armed with dart guns and a straight-jacket. Despite his injuries, he turned around and dashed down the hall. His mind buzzing, soaking up all the adrenaline to fight down the pain coursing through his body and to find the energy to dodge all the docs and other animals, occasionally knocking stuff over to slow down his pursuers.

He turned the corner and snuck into the next room available, a room filled with brooms, cardboard boxes and other appliances. He hastily emptied an half filled box, climbed in and waited. Heavy pawsteps passed the room he was in, like thunder and then, silence. Nick laid there in the box like a scared pup, hiding from the playground bullies who wouldn't let him use the swing, just because he's a fox.

The door to the janitors storage room was yanked open. He would have let out a yelp but he clamped his mouth shut. Surprising light pawsteps could be heard, while the room was being searched. What felt like an eternity, the animal left the room again. Nick released the breath he was holding and slowly he succumbed to his fatigue and embraced the sweet bliss of unconsciousness.

* * *

She awoke in pain and her eyes were brutally blinded by bright lights. Something had ben shoved down her throat, pumping air into her lungs. Despite being awake, she couldn't move but she could feel what was happening to her, broken bones were pushed into their normal positions, internal bleeding were stopped and the blood removed to diminish pressure on her organs. Tweezers rumanged in her flesh pushing and twisting to remove leftover pieces of her car and lastly needles which put her back together. Despite this onslaught of sensory input, she did not feel pain, just the alien feeling of something moving in her.

The long procedure finally ended, without the doctors working on her noticing her awakening. She was rolled out of the op room into that hellish hallway, filled with rows of those bright neon lights again. Her lungs burned as she felt the crawling sensation of the sedative wearing off, like ants moving and writhing just beneath her skin and fur.

Someone stomped by, shouting something about a fox but her mind being a mess of melting and corrosive thoughts without a beginning or end, wrote it of as trick of her ears. After what seemed like another aeon of laying around motionlessly, the rattling of her gurney came to an end. She hadn't noticed the change in scenery from hallway into an hospital room. The doctors reaplied her needed medications and before she knew it, the lights went of and she was left alone in her room. Faint orange light of the streetlamp kept painting twisting and moving shadows on her walls but maybe just maybe, they were shadows of demons, here to drag her to hell for her deeds but she felt tired, too tired to care about it and soon she slipped away to the realms of her self imposed nightmares.

* * *

Tired eyes cracked open slowly, blinking. Darkness. His body was stiff from sleeping in this agonizingly small box and it ached with every movement but he had to get up, he had to find her, fast. Tossing and turning, he managed to open the box. Now free of his confinement, he stumbled to the door, his blood rushing into head, making him dizzy.

'C'mon idiot, get your shit together' he thought and slapped his face lightly. Slowly the spinning world came to a halt and he proceeded to sneak out of his hiding spot. He peeked out of the room into the empty and quiet hallway. It must be nighttime, nick mused to himself, ignoring his throbbing wounds, he finally got to the hall, looking at every doors name plate.

His search took long, hiding away from an occasional passing doctor. The pain coming from his wounds got steadily worse and his movements got erratic as time passed by, he had to find her faster. Mind and body were pushed to their limit as he finally reached a door, 'hopps' written on the small aluminium nameplate.

He felt happy and relieved but at the same time he was filled with dread. What would happen? Would she be angry? Furious? Pissed? Or even dead. He shakingly opened the door. The room was dark faintly illuminated by the light of the streetlamp. Slowly Putting one foot after another, he entered the room. His mind ablaze with questions, scenarios and dread.

His thoughts came crashing to a halt as he felt a pointy object bury itself in his neck. He pulled it out and bis eyes widened as be saw tbe tranc' dart in his paw as his arms and legs slowly got heavier and thinking became a burden as he slowly slumped to the ground, fighting the effects of the tranquilizer dart but to no avail. the last thing he heard as he was dragged along the floor was, a rumbling voice.

"Gotcha".


	5. Float

Hello dear readers, here is another Chapter for you. A virtual Oscar to TortilliaOrBust for guessing right on what comes next. On with the story. Oh and read the end note.

-N

* * *

He stood in front of his appartment door. Dread washed over him in harsh cold waves, filled him up in an unbearable fast pace, swallowing him whole. Fear was not even close to what he felt. Slowly the knob on the door moved, opening the door to unleash it's content on him, the nightmares from the past month unfolding before him.

* * *

 _"You stupid bunny! That stunt could have killed you, what were you thinking with that rodent brain of yours?" His own angry voice echoed through the door._

 _An exasperated sigh could be heard, closely followed by a familiar female voice, "if I didn't chase him he might have got away! Plus I had my ballistic armour on me, I'm not that stupid you know."_

 _Nick groaned as he started to pace in the room, passing his paws through his hair, trying to calm his growing annoyance and anger over his mates unreasonable stubborness, "Yeah he would have gotten away, but he had the advantage of the terrain, lethal traps and guns! Not those shooting rubber bullets or darts, no, he had the real deal! And you? You just charged in there, without thought." He didn't notice his voice raising at the end of his rant._

 _"That's our job! Risking our lives for the people of Z-" Judy tried to argue but Nick just interrupted her midsentence, waving his paw dismissively, "don't start bullshitting me, hopps. Yeah our jobs can be dangerous but taking unnessesary risks is just plain stupid, this ain't like your backwater county, where the most dangerous task is to chase after some retarded hick who stole a bunch of carrots of some other Hick. This is a damn huge city and a lot more different and dangerous." Pausing to take a short breath, he continued, "and here I thought you learned that by now but i guess a bunny-brain's capacity is way lower than I imagined it to be."_

 _Nick closed his eyes to calm his troubled and raging thoughts, while he felt slight regret over what he said, it still was the truth. The Cold and harsh truth, served on a platter, garnished with anger but silence met his words. No retort, no justification, just silence. Slowly opening his eyes, Nick looked to the now vacant space where she sat. He never noticed that Judy got up from the couch, having heard enough. Frowning he looked through their appartment. The search was shortlived as he found her in their bedroom, a suitcase on a chair besides her, shoving her clothes into it.*_

 _Approaching the grey bunny, he saw the tear stains on the fur under her eyes. A sigh escaped his lips, "Judy... I'm sorry, I just… don't want to loose you, you know…" he said calmly._

 _Silence met his words yet again, as Judy proceeded to shove her stuff into the suitcase. Standing behind her now, he reached out for her shoulders. Wrong idea, as Judy grabbed his wrist, turning around, twisting his arm painfully to his back. kicking in the hollows of Nicks knees, slaming his upper body and face into the ground._

 _"Don't you dare touch me, wilde, I will take my things and leave, and you won't make any attempts to stop me, understood?" She hissed into his ear, venom dripping from every word. Judy tightened her hold of his arm a bit more, getting a slight nod of the downed, wide eyed fox. Letting go of him, she watched him get up, brushing his clothes of as he left her to pack her stuff._

 _She left shortly after that incident, without a word, not even a look. Nick just sat there for a long time, mulling over everything that happened that day._

 _It had started out nicely, with them finally getting green light to apprehend this particular nasty timber wolf, going by the name Percy King._

 _King was the Boss of 'Meatethics', a top producer of synthetic meat for all of Zootopia and beyond. His products were praised by many carnivores as the, 'most authentic' artifical meat of the world. Heck even Nick loved it, until they were assigned the case._

 _Many animals kept vanishing in Zootopia and the near vicinity, like their first case. They were at a loss for quite some time, ready to file the case as unsolved until they got a tip. Kings secretary at Meatethics, not longer able to hide those gruesome secrets to herself, went to Precinct One, demanding their two best officers. To make a long story short, the evidence they found to shut down Meatethics and to arrest King, were gruesome._

 _At this moment it went all awry. King knew they were coming. Rigging his mansion with traps, ranging from bear traps, to tripwired explosives. Nick called for backup, despie his partners protest, arguing that at the time backup would arrive, king would be long gone. Getting a negative response from Nick, she took matters into her own paws, charging right into the deathtrap of a mansion, Nick following her._

 _Well, they managed to get out almost unharmed, the occasional cut in their clothes and some swollen spots were seen. Judy managed to catch King, tranquilizing him, dragging him out, cuffed and muzzled._

 _After dropping that psycho off at their precinct, they drove home in silence, both of them too exhausted to argue or discuss the events of the day, that led to their fight as they arrived at their appartment._

 _Nick let out a sight getting up from his couch, walking into his bedroom he opened a drawer on his bedside table. Fumbling around underneath it, he pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarette. Taking the last one out and putting it to his mouth and lit it with his old metal lighter, taking a deep drag of it. Warm smoke filled his lungs and his tongue burned, letting out the smoke again he finally broke down. Judy left him and he was the reason. Tears rolled down his cheeks staining the soft orange fur._

 _He looked over to the door in which The original Nick stood, observing his greatest regret for the hundreth time, as he spoke, before everything went dark._

 _"we fucked up, eh Nicky?"_

* * *

 _End Note:_ There is a hint for my next story in this chapter, the one who guesses right get an virtual oscar.

-N


	6. Worst Day Since Yesterday

Hello dear readers, a big thank you for the much appreciated reviews, they keep me going, I'm not a very good writer but i love to write, plus this is my longest chapter! Yay… Uhm… nothing much to tell despite the usual stuff … oh and did you notice that I'm a teensy bit sadistic? No? Well then, on with the story.

-Anim-Insomnum

* * *

The stench of antiseptics entered her nose, as her senses awoken slowly. The onslaught of the influx causing a nauseous feeling, ignoring her sore muscles, she leaned over her hospital bed and emptied her stomach, letting out a small torrent of clear bile, stopping shortly as that stomachof hers was pretty much empty beforehand.

Sweating, Judy lets herself fall back into her previous position, staring motionlessly at the spinning ceilling, waiting for her sensory overload to end, thinking was hard, sluggish even. This routine kept repeating itself for the couple of days, wake up, puke, writhing in pain and nausea and after getting her bearings, comes tiredness, falling unconscious again only to get another dose of it as soon as she returns to the waking world.

It has been almost a week since her accident and three days passed since she had awakened and not one second passed without her thinking about nick, asking herself if he was alright. He fared worse compared to her. While she had some minor injuries like, cuts, some broken bones and bruises, that looked like she went for a bicycle ride in a dense forest and that is after another car drove stright into hers. Nicks injuries, as far as a doctor could her, looked like he was stuffed into a combine harvester. The doctor even said, 'that's one damn resilent fox right there, surviving such wound and live to see another day'. Luckily he didnt know that she could be the reason, which was good. Hopfully she could visit that resilent fox soon. that thought alone let a small smile grace her tired face, as the spinning room came to a halt slowly.

Despite being tired she did not sleep, her mind slowly woke up and shook off the remnants of her nausea. She clung to that tiny speck of hope she felt not long ago. Clawed at it for all it was worth, tried to catch it but it evaded her and soon she felt dread. What would nick do? Would he be angry? Did he even know she's here? Questions over questions flooded her mind, showering her tiny brain with fear at one particular thought, was it her fault for nick's condition?

Her breathing fastened, she shook from the mere thought of her being the couse of the fox' injuries. The heartrate monitors bleeps grew faster, drawing her further into hyperventilation, vision getting blurry. Shaky paws snaked to the emergency button, grabbing it, she kept pressing it frantically with what force was left in her. Not long after her desperate call for help, nurses and doctors, literally kicked down the door, shouting meaningless at each other, at least they were meaningless to judy, hurrying around her shaking and gasping form, preparing syringes and after some firm paws held her down, she barely felt the needle breaching her skin.

As the trembles slowly died down, her heart rate slowed and the breathing grew even, her mind finally succumbe to the bliss of a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Weeks passed and judy still went through her cycles of misery. Countless times of waking, vomiting over the edge of her bed, occasionally geting down solid food, hyperventilating and many hours of getting counseling sessions by the hospitals local shrink, judy finally was deemed recovered enough to move on her own, which relieved judy to no end. No nurses to help her get off her bed, onto a wheelchair, to the rest room and like a toddler, be seated on the pot. Well, getting under the shower was a more embarassing experience. Judy shuddered at the memory. Pushing it away as quick as it came, she enjoyed her new freedom, heading out of her room, moving through the hall until she grew tired and limped back to her room, her reach increasing with every attempt.

Everytime she went for her walk, she asked a passing nurse or doctor about nick, their replies wer mostly incapable to satisfy judys her mind. All she knew, was that he was in a room in that huge building filled with hallways and doors, kept sedated, not wanting him to attempt another escape and risk that his wounds reopen yet again. After gettong the same answer to her questions over and over again, she grew paranoid, why did it feel like they were keeping something from her? Maybe its nothing but her mind trying to goad into an abyss of dark and toxic thoughts. Shaking her head she limped back to her bed, was tired, her body welcomed the soft touch of the mattress underneath her, alleviating her aching pain.

Dinner time soon rolled by and a nurse with a tray walked in. Judy just rolled her eyes, yes the hospials food was healthy and specially adjusted for her nutritional needs but has it to taste so bland? The carrots while being fresh were tasteless and she should know how a carrot should taste like. Those things were far from it. A loud growl echoed through the silent room, judy just held her stomach, she didn't want to eat that stuff but that stomach of hers insisted to be filled, as fast as possible. Grabbing the tray, she wolfed down the food, leaving nothing left.

"Happy?" She asked her stomach sarcastically. It replied her with a statified gurgle. 'Ew' was the only though passing her mind. After her unconventionally fast meal, judy set the tray aside and let herself fall back into the, for her size, big pillow, staring thoughtlessly to the ceiling, listening to the various noises and voices made by the other animals and doctors as well as the noises of a buzzing city just behind the blinds of her room. She paid the voices no mind, until a booming yell got her attention.

"He did what?" The deep voice of a male yelled, clearly distressed by whatever news he got.

Another male voice, this one softer, answered the first ones question, "patient wilde of room 613 escaped again. Dr. Frey and miss Guerra were able to catch him and get him back to his room without any significant injuries."

"What do you mean, 'without any significant injuries?" Questioned the other. Seemingly hesistant, the softspoken voice said, "well, uh, while Frey and guerra catched him, the patient may have gotten a minor concussion not severe but further observations are needed to gauge the extent of that concussion other than that, wilde did not recieve any damage to his existing injuries"

A deep sight could be heard, "that fox will be the death of me and probably his own, get back to work Mauser, I'll take care of that issue" and with that and some heavy pawsteps, the conversation stopped.

Aftee hearing that piece of information, judy felt that familiar quickening of her heart, pounding against her ribcage. She finally knew where he was and quickly grabbed her crutches, got out of her bed and with that, she was out in the white halls of the hospital. Passing room after room, taking in all the numbers on the small iron panels besides the doors. Until she stood infront of the one she sought after. She opened it with the handle of one of her crutches and pushed it open and closed it behind her.

Holding her breath, judy edged closer to the bed longing to finally see the one who could completely understand her, the one which she had so carelessly cast away, like an used toy. Pulling up a chair and clibing it, she gasped as soon as she laid her eyes on nick. His stitches and scars on his face alone were fare worse than the doctors had told her, straps drapped over him to prevent any further escape. It broke her heart to see him in such a condition.

Judy just sat there, brushing her paw carefully through nicks soft fur. Hours passed as she kept doing it. "You look horrible" she whispered dolefully into the room.

"You look like a roadkill yourself, carrots" came the soft and sudden reply from nick. Startled she withdrew her paw and stared at him mouth agape.

The fox snickered weakly, "close your mouth, or are you trying to catch some flies?"

Still getting no reply from the stunned bunny, he talked once again with a questioning look on his face "jokes aside, why are you here?"

"More importantly, who are you?"

Judy's face gradually paled.


	7. Chaos, chaos do you feel it?

_Hello thete, long time no see. Soory for not posting a new chapter sooner... stuff came up in form of me not wanting to continue because of some idiots, nagging and bitching about how I am the worst for writing this fic, over PM, I really contemplated to give in but, eh.. just going to continue and a quick note to any future flamer, hater or whatever you want to call yourselves, just stop at the point you decide tgat you do not like my fic, leave and invest your time in something else instead of wasting it insulting me in such a covardly way. For any other reader who may have constructive criticism, it is very welcomed.. now enough of my whining and let's get going. Enjoy_

-N

* * *

What's up with that rabbit? I thought with a frown on my face, I just asked, who she was and after I've witnessed the most fascinating whitening of her already light gray fur, putting every ghost and polar bear to shame, she stormed out of the room. Well, as fast as she could with those crutches. My eyes lingered on the door that rabbit just went through at that my thoughts came to an abrupt, crashing halt.

Cute rabbit? Where did that came from? I'm a fox, I shouldn't feel nor think about prey like that, shouldn't I? It's sickening, right? For a fox to think like that, is disgusting, utterly wrong and unnatural. But why did that thought pass my mind? Was it an ailment I suffered from the time before I lost my memories, that drove me to a maddening self destructive state, that they had to strap me down in here? Where did those scars and injuries come from then? Self inflicted or done by others for having a twisted affecion towards rabbits or prey in general? I didnt't know and from all those question popping up in my head like a pack of rabbid dogs from hell, I didn't want to dwell on it, as long as it relieved my sudden migraine that came as soon as I thought about it too much.

There were also some policemen and women, reffering to me as officer wilde, apparently, I, a fox am a cop, oh that irony. They left shortly too after I told them, that I couldn't remember a damn thing only waking up in this damn hospital, body aching, burning pain surging through every inch of my demolished body like molten metal and after trying to escape a couple of times they strapped me down with someone passing by all

Twenty minutes to see if I'm still in my bed. Other than that I didnt get much visitors, I wonder why though, was I such a bad animal, despised by all up to my own family, so rotten that nobody cared if something happened to me? No, that doesn't make any sense, since i'm apparently a bloody cop. Sighing, I got into an more comfortable position as good as I could with those straps on my limbs and body.

Sweet nothings filled my head as I lied there staring like a vegetable on the ceiling. These nothings swept through my mind, alleviating my throbbing headache, my brain finally free of thoughts of the past troubling days. I was in this state for a long while, not noticing the nurse entering the room several times, not wanting that blissful state to pass, clinging to it like a shipwrecked animal to the sunken ships debris but I was pulled out of it like the shipwrecked animal who is pulled down by the sinking ships wake.

My thoughts hit me like a storm again, tossing and turning, shaking me to my core. My headache acted up again, filling my skull to its seams with pain. I wanted to fall asleep again, tried to will myself into unconsciousness but to no avail. With my mind thrown into turmoil I weakly shook against my bindings, ignoring the pain coming from my still healing injuries and with each movement against the straps on my lims, they grew heavier, leaden even. physical fatigue washing over my sore body, beckoning me to stop, trying to prevent me from harming it even further. So I gave in but sleep never came, my body tricked my aching mind, usurped it until it could take over.

I felt trapped in my body, a prisoner, taken hostage by myself. Again, I ignored the nurse, who poked her head into my room but she went as fast as she came, so why even pay her any mind. Letting out a pathetic whimper, so it is time to wait it out. Waiting made it worse, nobody beside my hammering head, unsteady breathing and toxic thoughts to keep me company. Time meant nothing as the seconds and minutes flew past me. Soon enough, for me at least, came the feeding time. The nurse set the tray besides my bed and forked the tasteless food into my mouth occasionally waiting for me to gulp it down hastily. The water came in a beaked cup normally for small children, shoved into my mouth occasionally between the incoming food, seeping out the corners of my mouth. I felt like a freaking toddler, no, that line was unfitting for my situation. I felt treated like a brain dead animal, a vegetable with the distinct diffrence of me being able to move, think and talk but what does all that mean if you are not treated like this?

Clattering silverware, stopped my train of thoughts. The feeding time was over, as the nurse quickly and with with the gentleness of a bulldozer wiped away the water and food i couldn't contain in my mouth. That nurse, gathered the tray and paid me no mind as she left.

* * *

She was lost in her thoughts. How could that happen? When did it happen? Before or after his apparent suicide? Or was it while he was here? It didn't matter, what mattered most is that her beloved one lost his memories and that after a fight over something as benign as work. They had overcome so much, first overcoming the stereotipical shaky relationship foxes and rabbits had, then cracking the hardest case they had at the current time and after that, nick became a police officer, one of the first pawsteps breaking the vicious circle of the stigmata of foxes, let us not for get about their relationship helping this narrow minded society progress, slowly, but progress is progress.

And how did it end? In one single fight all their achievements, their hardships, gone because this stupid bunny couldn't stand being berated when she acts recklessly and stubborn. He just feared that something would happen to her in that madmammals factory.

She wandered the hospitals hallways aimlessly, her mind screaming accusations at her, eating at her sanity, what little remained of it anyways. What was she suposed to feel? Her soulmate, her lover was replaced with a husk, devoid of any memories of his friends, family and her. How could she help him? Or was she even supposed to help him? Did he even need her?

Walking back to her hospital room, she set aside her crutches and struggled up her hospital bed an settled on sitting on the edge of it. Her paws absentmindedly brushed over the rough texture of the sheets, her mind still contemplating her situation. Various scenarios entered her head, many different options and results popped up, reevalueted themselves almost instantly, judy was reckless and stubborn but she isn't dumb. One thought however stuck, one with many advantages which could aid her love regain a semblance of getting back his memories which in turn would benefit her and their relationship but this course of action held equally as much drawbacks, for example would he really remember everything, their relationship would crash and shatter like a thrown rock would a window.

But the main two questions still remain. Would it work and woud she be able to follow through with it or would guilt consume her? Despit her being uncertain of what to do, she knew, it had to decide sooner or later but for now…. She had to plan everything down to the smallest detail.

She laid down on her hospital bed, a small smile spread across her face at the prospect of going back to how things have been before this whole mess.


End file.
